Are you Caught up in the Blame Game?
When couples argue, there are usually accusations of a certain nature being discussed and we tend to get caught up in; what I call “The Blame Game.” Quite frankly, no matter what you are arguing about, whether it be money, time spent together as a couple/with the children, chores or sex, it makes absolutely no sense to blame each other. Blaming and accusations get us nowhere.
When we get into an argument with our partner, we would be much better off to express our feelings from our own point of view, without blames the other. You may ask, “how do I do this?” Simply by stating your feelings from the first person, such as “I feel hurt, when we argued about our money issues last night, and then perhaps you could move on to saying “I’m not blaming you, but I feel that we need to fix this.” Instead of wasting precious time arguing and accusing,
which leads to the Blame Game trap.
Both people are blaming and trying to win the argument, because it has become about being right. Not about solving the issue at hand. Focusing on a solution, rather than arguing about who did what is far more positive and helpful. In time the Blame Game will erode at your self esteem, it will cause distrust, insecurity and build a lot of resentment. Not very healthy.
Keep working on finding a solution, where both parties win. To put it simply, compromise is usually the best option.
Copyright ©2007, Janelle Coulton
If you enjoyed this article, there is more information and reading material at my site, the link is below:
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